好好听的歌，送给单身的朋友。

 

戴愛玲-對的人

Today received an email from my dar's mother. Quite meaningful article and want to share with you...

Those who are still single may learn something from here...  
Those who are already married may take it as a guideline to improve your marriage & relationship ...

 

DID I MARRY THE RIGHT PERSON?  

During one of our seminars, a woman asked a common question. She said, "How do I know if I married the right person?"  
I noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so I said, "It depends. Is that your husband?"    
In all seriousness, she answered "How do you know?"  

Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it's weighing on your mind.  

Here's the answer.  
EVERY relationship has a cycle. In the beginning, you fell in love with your spouse    / partner . You anticipated their call, wanted their touch, and liked their idiosyncrasies   (unconventional behavior/habit).  

Falling in love with your spouse wasn't hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience.    
You didn't have to DO  anything. That's why it's called "falling" in love... Because it's happening TO YOU .  

People in love sometimes say, "I was swept of my feet." Think about the imagery of that __expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something came along and happened TO YOU .  

Falling in love is easy . It's a passive and spontaneous experience. But after a few years of marriage, the   euphoria   (excitement)   of love fades. It's the natural cycle of EVERY relationship . Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse's   idiosyncrasies , instead of being cute, drive you nuts.  

The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship, but if you think about your marriage, you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.  

At this point, you and/or your spouse might start asking, "Did I marry the right person?"    
And as you and your spouse reflect on the euphoria  of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else.    
This is when marriages breakdown . People blame their spouse for their unhappiness and look outside their marriage for fulfillment.  

Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is the most obvious.    
But sometimes people turn to work,   a hobby, a friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances.  

But the answer to this dilemma does NOT  lie outside your marriage. It lies within it.    
I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else.  
You could.  

And TEMPORARILY  you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation a few years later. Because  (listen carefully to this):  

THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN MARRIAGE IS NOT FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON;  IT'S LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND.  

SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. It'll NEVER  just happen to you. You can't "find" LASTING  love. You have to "make" it day in and day out. That's why we have the __expression "the labor of love." Because it takes  time, effort, and energy . And most importantly, it takes WISDOM . You have to know   WHAT TO DO  to make your marriage work.  

Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your spouse) to succeed with your marriage.  

Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships.  
Just as the right diet and exercise program makes you physically stronger, certain habits in your relationship WILL  make your marriage stronger.    
It's a direct cause and effect. If you know and apply the laws, the results are predictable... you can "make"love .  

Love in marriage is indeed a "decision"... Not  just a feeling.  

Remember this always :  

"God determines who walks into your life. It is up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let go."    

有玩friendster的人应该不会对这词  "It's complicated TM" 感到陌生。

刚开始我也不明白啦，就看到朋友也放，就问他咯。

他就告诉我关于他和她和她和她和他和她。。。的故事后，我也昏了，也明白了。

感情本来很简单，是一对零或一对一的关系。

但它不在这规划下，就变成 It's complicated 。

成人的世界可能会complicated,

但看到那些年轻的朋友， 才十多岁而已，也It's complicated TM？

祝福那些complicated 朋友快快脱离It's complicated TM，

回到最初的单纯，简单才是幸福，加油！

这周末都在油漆。

要把木门油成黑，把门框油成白。

当油黑门时，轻轻松松就把原本的颜色盖掉。

相反的，当要把门框油变白，却很难耶！

我油了又油，还是看到原本的颜色。

我就一层又一层盖上它，结果好难看。

厚厚又不均匀。

后来，我等它干后，用沙纸磨平它，再重新油上一层薄薄的白色。

隔了一天，我又再油多一层，就比较ok了。

在这过程中，就好像上了一课。

人呀，要变坏一下儿就变了，要变好，多难！

那怕只是个污点，不能一下子就可以洗掉或让人忘了。

要花好多时间和心机才能把它磨平。。。